I’ve been wondering where the gentleman are. It seems like I’m always hit on by men not interested in a serious relationships or they are already involved. These aren’t what I want. I want a serious relationship that’s going somewhere, particularly down the aisle. I almost gave up dating. It still seems like it has been ages since I’ve been on a real date. I don’t hang out so that makes meeting new people hard. —D. Marie
Jahla! D. Marie,
Love attracts Love. I am a living, breathing testament of the Law of Attraction. In reality we all are. The Law of Attraction basically says, whatever we focus on the most, consciously or unconsciously, is what we attract or bring into our lives. Now I’m sure you’re not walking around every day saying “I hope I get hit on by married men or men only looking for flings”—so let’s not get it twisted. However, if you are mostly focused on finding a man just so you can make it down the aisle before you wrinkle up like a prune, you might want to reevaluate your priorities. Focusing constantly on marriage will definitely attract men into your life, but because marriage is a very basic concept compared to love, you will end up with lots of basic, no-good-for-you men. Think About It: You can marry any man, but can you unconditionally love any man? As a woman remember, single or married, your number one priority should always be YOU! Think of yourself as a magnet. Now decide what kind of magnet you want to be. One that attracts low-lives or high-lives. If you want to attract a gentleman willing to love you, cherish you, provide for you and uplift you—you must first love you, cherish you, provide for you and uplift you.
Are you attractive?
As people we are often most attracted to people who are similar to us in some way. Likewise, we attract people who are similar to us in some way. Therefore, if you ask any mature, knowledgeable, ambitious, goal-oriented, hardworking man what kind of woman he wants to settle down with, I would bet my currency that he is going to say a mature, knowledgeable, independent, ambitious, goal-oriented and hardworking woman . . . or something of the sort. A real man wants a woman who does not need him to survive, but compliments his success and fuels his ambitions. Men tend to dislike clingy, needy women. A real man wants woman who can bring something to the dinner table, other than good looks or loads of drama and baggage. Yes, some men want nothing more than booty calls, one-night stands and playmates, but I wouldn’t necessarily call those types MEN, and definitely not gentlemen. A man worth marrying wants a woman who is PRIMARILY focused on making herself, her children (if applicable), her education, her finances, her career, her side hustle and ultimately her life better every single day.
But I Need A Man To. . .
To do what Queen? It doesn’t really matter what you think or feel you need a man for or to do. The reality is you don’t need him. The Universe or God whichever you prefer created you with all the capabilities of surviving life on your own. All By Yourself. Queen status. That means you can be a successful woman without a man: a happy woman, a fulfilled woman, a beautiful woman etc. BUT WHAT ABOUT MY SEXUAL NEEDS!? Start focusing on yourself one day at a time, fill your free-time with self enhancing projects. You will naturally supplement for your sexual desires if you spend more time focusing on learning something new, working a little bit more, taking up a hobby, spending time with your children, traveling, pampering yourself, writing out your goals and dreams.
You Don’t Need To Party Hard to Find Mr. All Night
Even if you aren’t one for hanging out every weekend at the local hot spots, you don’t need to be discouraged. I was never the party girl in college, but Frank and I met when a friend of mine brought him with her for drink night at my apartment, and we’ve been attached by our heart strings ever since. Just take some time to focus on enjoying your single life and doing the things you love to do. Maybe it’s catching the lateness movie, just you and your popcorn. Maybe there is a restaurant you been dying to eat at—grab your keys, your life journal and stop in for a one-on-one date with yourself. Maybe you’ve been putting off getting fit, learning a new language or trying out a new makeup combination you found on Youtube. It does not matter, just focus on you!
Once you make a commitment to LOVING YOURSELF and FOCUSING ON YOU AND YOUR PRIORITIES love will find you! I can’t promise you Prince Charming, because I don’t know your purpose in life. . . but I can promise you some kind of LOVE will find you and yes it will sweep you off your feet. Just do you, for you and the universe will take care of the matchmaking—in the right place, at the right time.
Love yourself, girl, or nobody will.
Peace & Always Love
More on learning to Live and Embrace the single life with purpose coming soon. Until then take a glance at my related posts, and remember my inbox door is always open.