I didn’t think of me then as the I Am Queen today

Ironic it is, how after years of maturing as a young woman I never once thought to make my ideal Prince Charming someone who loved me for me, couldn’t get enough of my quirky edges, my artistic mental, my peculiar nature, along with my love handles and my thunder-thighs. I’m sure those were subconsciously always in the back of my mind, but I know I didn’t begin sending the slightest of those vibes into the atmosphere until I was heading into my twenty-second year of life. Looking back I just wanted to get to the happily-ever-after—find a man who I found attractive, who was respectful and loved me. Naive, and slightly delusional to think I even knew what love truly was. In hindsight, my heart/soul knew what the essence of love felt like, but to say I understood love in its entirety would be an injustice to it love’s grandeur. 

• Self esteem: I was the curvythickythick girl who never minded rocking short hair with no makeup. However, guys my age were into slimthick chicks with long extension, and foundation cake face.—I was far from either. #IHadAComplex. Thus I dated guys 2-3 years my senior. But most importantly, I stayed true to me, and finally found my inner peace, complete self confidence along the way, and love.
• Art/poetry (individual Creativity): It is extremely crucial that men/women alike find someone who will love every aspect of his/her existence. I dated a lot of guys — very few who peaked my interest and took all of me seriously enough to go steady with. And then Frank came alone and did all of the latter, plus he was in love with my art, in love my creative spirit. In Him I found someone who was connected to my Passions, the Arts. He was an artist of different trades, but art all the the same. We connected instantly by the heartstrings.
• Stand Out: I had to go through a transition 1.8 years out #FSU. I got to a point so low within myself that I mentally crashed. Most people my age would have broke. I speak from observation—I see the people I’ve grown to know, love: I have seen them break under pressure. But the real tragedy, they then proceed to leave their pieces where they lie and go forward in life. And subsequently they break again and again. They never learn to put themselves back together again. #HumptyDumptySyndrome, I did not break. Instead I used that moment and it’s aftermath as energy and fuel. I told myself I would never stall out ever again long enough to drive myself mad with my own thoughts. #writersblock101
  • Redefine yourself: This one is actually simple—it reads and sounds harder than it really is. First I searched deep inside to find out what I really wanted out of the universe, life, love, health, my degrees, happiness, good fortune, and all of the like I could fathom. I WROTE IT ALL DOWN! I made up in mind that I could not cry woe is me simply because I was not where I wanted to be, simply due to the fact I had failed to do all the things I had told myself I would. I let go of negative{fearful, doubtful, selfish, etc} energy, people, thoughts and habits.
    • I made up my mind I deserved a job that paid enough to live decent, one that gave me freedom —I got it. I said I’m not going to be afraid of just being me, and live my life —doing it.  I’d grind for a year to reap the harvest I desire and to become the wombman I was created to be —in progress. And I’m already seeing fruit. Instagram: #RedefineYourSelf #RYS 

• Settling is for quitters!: Don’t settle for anything less than your worth. If you want something bad enough, and you grind hard enough to obtain it you can have it. The latter is true in matters of love, finance, career, goals, health, family, direction, vision, etc.
• LoveThySelf/KnowThySelf: Know you want. What you desire. Need. And Finally know what you are worthy of receiving. Accept who you are, and expect nothing less from the world than that. When you do this the universe begins to spiral at your smallest beck and call.

And Finally . . . 

Happily-forever-after:The mission of love is to manifest the patience necessary to prepare yourself for your life in its fullest capacity. After all the first person you were ever meant to fall in love with was YOU.

Peace & Always Love,

Queen E.♥