“I like your tongue ring” —the five infamous first words spoken by Frank to me at a table surrounded by our peers; the unlikely first impression that captured my intrigue and flung us both 5 years deep into a love we somehow managed, but could never have dreamt. Eh, and now half a decade in, over a splurge of a dinner and some so-so drinks, I realized I was hoodwinked and bamboozled by the clever-tongued snake I call my forever-lover. Oh! but how so E? you may ask… well, my Loves I can change my tongue ring a million and one times in a day …a million different colors, patterns or shapes mind you…I could lose it and fail to replace it for two weeks or two months—#beentheredonethat—and would you believe this Man will never notice. . .