Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Urgggggh! @⚡#!!
In my head, I’ve done the above a million and one times in the last 72 hours. Truth is, I have been running deadline crazy. Sad part—I sat all of the deadlines for myself, but of course, life has proved once again that it does not give one flying fxck about my preapproved deadlines.
The reality is, I ain’t even mad at life—and I ain’t mad at Self for not meeting those fly by night lines. If anything … I simply hate keeping those of you waiting who have been anticipating the release of certain content…yes, I still love you and I’m still working…eh…
The last two years of studying Loveology have opened my eyes to a new love for myself—each and every facet of my unconventionally poised being. I’m learning and accepting that perfect timing is just what it sounds like…it’s perfect timing and every second of my life is perfect—even if undesirable. Most days my heart is racing my mind, and my mind subsequently gets lost trying to keep up…I often short circuit. But after my wires are fried, stripped and rewired I’m back to the madness.
The last couple weeks have led to many triumphs and many setups in the midst of my chaos and madness. Yet, would you believe the most baffling part is that despite the solemn days, the tear-stained pillows, pushed back deadlines, clanking wedding bells, all of the unread pages of my studies, and so on…I never feel as if I’m off track. Even when I want to be angry with myself and curse my circumstances I rarely do, and like clockwork, I always find myself bombarded by my guardians and ancestors with love and fortification—by way of their numbers, symbols, omens, spirits, and voices. And after speaking with my MaaMa yesterday I found a greater peace for where I am in my processes—she encouraged me by simply acknowledging that sometimes we are forced to postpone things or delay our own process for the sake of manifesting something greater than our infant visions. And to tell the truth, I do love me some greater!
I love you all as well! Thank you for your love…