“I don’t really want to marry you, I just want a lavish wedding…”  said someone somewhere boldy mmm…or possibly in confidence. . .

I’m not sure what’s gotten into people nowadays, but we have an annoying tendency to insist on putting the cart before the horse. We rush down the aisle…and sometimes it is simply for the purpose of saying “We’s married now!” The sad truth is—just because you performed a wedding ceremony and exchanged vows does not necessarily constitute that you are indeed married. Sorry, but not sorry to rain on anyone’s parade—eh, it rained own our wedding day, and I couldn’t have been more elated.

I remember being in a rush to make it down the aisle with Frank for a brief moment. I had gotten so caught up in the fact that we had postponed the ceremony 3 times and our wedding party had gotten antsy and friends and family were questioning the delays. Some part of me was anxious to give the people a show and other parts were just revving to meet King at the altar. Turns out many of the ones who inquired the most failed to show the day of our Malem, and we did not even have an altar. Hindsight, twenty-twenty we could never have pulled off such a love-filled, Frank & Egypt’esque event three years ago—none of our pieces were in order, and so much was transpiring familywise, within our still budding love-life and in our individual transitions in adulthood.

Know—performing a wedding is the simple part. If you grew up like me in a village of

Frank reading his vows - LoveTrips™
Frank reciting his vows/Egypt trying not to tear up ’cause she forgot setting spray #bridestruggles – LoveTrips™

close-knit young girls and boys, you’d know a thing or two about playing house and having a makeshift wedding. Somehow the ceremony always involved somebody’s Momma’s pulled garden flowers and/or yard weeds, a towel or bed sheet wedding dress train, a nice fresh mud pie topped with sourgrass for the tasting and some not-so forever, but very much butchered vows. As you can clearly visualize anyone can have a wedding

…but marriage is, well, a horse of another color and breed.

Marriage, minus all the unnecessary corporate paper trails—you know like licenses, certificates, and federal taxation hoopla, is the soulful, spiritual, mental and physical obligating and dedicating of one’s self to another. A true marriage of love and hearts can only happen when two (or more :-P) people agree upon this obligation and this dedication.  Both parties must be entirely devoted to their marriage, their union.

A marriage of any form begins with the agreeing of souls long before two people meet in their lifetime…[tbc]. For down-to-Earth purposes, the marriage begins in the heart and it becomes the mind’s duty to match the vibrations of the spirit, which pursue the original purpose of the soul and finally create a physical union. One more time por favor—and FINALLY create a physical union.

Like seriously, I cannot think of anything worse than a runaway bride or groom on his or her wedding day, okay well, maybe that one time that one couple spent 50K (nonrefundable USD) and called off the wedding and their relationship on their nuptial weekend… See, when you prioritize your wedding or making it down the aisle over your marriage then you’re headed for a derailment that I’m sure your train will not be prepared for, because you’ve missed all the caution signs that screamed out in loud orange “BEWARE OF UNFINISHED TRACKS” …”AIR BRAKES – NO PRESSURE” … “BRIDGE OUT AHEAD!”

So for both the Science of Marriage and the Art of Wedding Frank and I consciously and subconsciously live by the following inputs and outputs. All three possess a necessary duality—the law of cause and effect. For example: when you input value your output is value: pretty simple right?¿

  1. Value
  2. Purpose
  3. Intent

Until next time, I love you no less ♥


[P.S. I love You]

In terms of marriage

Obligation: an act or course of marriage/union to which a person is morally and lawfully [and/or legally] bound with a duty or commitment to another person.

Dedication: the quality of being devoted or consecrated to another being life, purpose, and well-being.

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