Journal 1

Egypt English - Hip Hop Poet Loveologist Publisher

The Art of Breaking

Your picture perfect tomorrow requires your shattered today.
You need to accept yourself broken, even in a zillion scattered pieces, before you can appreciate yourself mending, and finally whole.

Perspective — Pick Your Potion

The Religious will read these words and pull from them messages from their mighty and benevolent Provider/s. The Thinkers will find within the lines many shiftings of paradigms for their minds to navigate. The Spiritualists will draw from in between the lines spirit food to be devoured and expelled as good energy. The Scientists will analyze the elements and components—the inputs—of these streams of consciousness and find the necessary factors to devise their desired output.

The Incongruity

I once believed I could outrun my past mistakes, missteps, negligence, errors, bad decisions…etc. Turns out I have never been much of a long distance sprinter. Chances are, neither are you. Truth is, sprints and long distances are two cloths cut from two opposing fabrics. A sprint in its very nature is a “fast run over a short distance” (Google/Merriam-Webster). Life is a long distance run by default…and all that you do in life, and all of the decisions you make each day and night—no matter how large or how small—go the long distance with you. Like your shadow, you cannot be separated from things you have and have not done. Your actions and/or lack of actions are forever part of your mental, spiritual, physical and cosmic DNA.

I cannot—you cannot outrun your DNA.

The faithfully unfaithful dancing with the hopeless hopeful

Convincing myself—having faith—that everything in life was working out according to my own divine plan was once the hardest things to accomplish. Yet, at the same time, I was successful—very successful in convincing myself I could live by faith and faith alone. Deep down I always knew the real truth…

“What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him? If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, and one of you says to them, “Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,” but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit? Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.” — Biblios Heliotech, James 2:14-17

…and still, I was always right—all things in my life were always working out according to my own divine plan, even when I could not see that this was so. Outcomes of this divineness; however, did not all look or feel like I wanted them too. My faith was correct…my faith was true, but my actions and lack of actions did not always input the necessary values to output my desired results—“If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, and one of you says to them, ‘Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,’ but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit?”Answer: A waste of time and a waste of well-intended faith.

A women’s faith will allow her to know anything is possible, but it is a women’s actions that lead to the manifestation of her desired fruit—the same is true of man.

Scared stiff at the foothills of a mountain topped with gold

I earned my degree in English Literature from Frostburg State University, the crown jewel at the top of some pretty steep mountains and hills. A small town Saponi girl with big dreams to escape her foothills—to see new sights, experience new things and taboo things, and climb to higher heights—that was me. If I had feared leaving my comfort zone and the ascent to the top of the Allegheny mountains, I would not have been able to earn that specific degree from FSU. I would not have gained the experiences that have divinely shaped me. I would not be writing these words to you right now. Chances are I would not have crossed paths with the love of my lifetimes in the manner which led to our reigniting in this lifetime. Had I not ascended in those clouds and instead remained in my homeland submitting to fears of being far from home, being in an unfamiliar place, being surrounded by no one I knew, being responsible for my own safety, obligations, and decisions—who would I be today? what would I be…

Safe? Maybe I would be safe…but not from the claws and grasp of fear.

Can you imagine a beautiful mountain—your mountain—topped with gold and jewels or whatever your heart desires—ALL belonging to YOU?! No catches and the only strings attached are your insecurities…your negative thoughts…your what-ifs. The only thing required is that you honor your faith and take possession of your heart’s desires—clip the strings grounding you, make the climb, make your ascent.

—♥Egypt English, Loveologist

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