In a matter of four months our lives transformed—like magic, go figure. These transitions have happened so fast, I have barely had the time to collect my thoughts, let alone pen them…okay, type them. Yet, here I am. One o’clock Ante Meridian, pinned between Frankie Baby and our pint-sized cherub who takes up an unnecessary enormous amount of space in our bed to have such a compact body. Here I am, with a moment to breathe, by way of writing.
Last January, we knew we wanted to make the best of 2018—we had not quite figured out how, however. Nevertheless, we knew we desired a year of abundance, economic stability and freedom, room in our lives to breathe. How we would get to that place in that space with all the amenities we needed and wanted, we literally left up to Great Spirit, and commenced to putting in work.
I found out so much about myself during my pregnancy, but the most powerful piece of knowledge I gained was the realization that I am pretty freakin’ magical, and I am magnet for attracting and endless flow of wealth. I knew this was possible prenatal and experienced it many times in spurts, but when motherhood seeped deep into my veins, I became a new woman.
To be honest, the energy I was running off of was one-of-a-kind. I cannot explain it. Nesting took on a whole other shape. I was nesting at home, but home is where the heart is, and my heart is always with me, so I was nesting everywhere. I was performing, in and out of recording studios, vending at popup shops, studying content marketing and to be a Seyeraha, finishing an EP and an ebook, cleaning out our home, and working a fulltime job as a report analyst…
Woke again, 5:48 Antes Meridian
As I was saying before falling asleep after a 2 o’clock nursing session, I was blog consulting, jewelry making and podcasting; dream interpreting and life coaching (often compensated in love notes) — and as I half sit, half lay awake with a sleeping Tzar in my sleeping left arm, I realize I spent 2019 testing waters, figuring out not only what made me coins, but what truly made my heart sing the loudest and the most genuinely and graciously.
See, I went into the Year of the Pig with a desire to make a career out of freelancing. I had no clue how that would work out. All I did know is I needed freedom everywhere in my life. I needed to feel alive doing the things I loved while still building a wealth of finance, knowledge and experience. I also desire to be able to be myself…both and all of me’s…the human, the artist and her muses. So, I set my intentions to pretty much do all that and more.
I found out even structured freedom could be wonderful. Slowly but, surely I found myself here, freelance blogging, still consulting for a global information company, teaching art to inner city youth, and prepping to began an adventure of a lifetime with my consort learning how we can create a paradigm shift in the social justice atmosphere of Baltimore with water…
What is life if it is not happiness?
It is not life if there is no happiness, you are simply existing.
I desire security, but at the end of this life I also need to be able to say I lived and knew freedom. Ultimately, it is my goal to show others like me that we can manifest the freedom to live and be happy, but that journey is a constant work in progress.
For now, I am simply taking in this new scenery along this unworn path. This year is bound to be exciting, and I am elated to recount it and translate it into emotions over the next 365 days and some moon phases.
Yes, I will be still taking you along for my food journey, play dates with Zee, lovetrips with Frankie Baby, poetry ventures, The Monday Train rides, and more, but everything has its time and place. After all, you cannot force happiness and perfection is myth. I am on an adventure to leave behind a legacy, my story — a story that in and of its own nature is unrivaled.
I still love you beyond infinity,
*Feature image from my brother’s wedding – Bushel & A Peck Photography