Nowadays breakfast at home consists of two batches of pancakes his and mine. For three and a half years we live in the same apartment, and our walls have grown with compromise. For two and a half years I had made pancakes, from scratch, the same recipe every time:

• • 1¼ cups of wheat flour
  • 2½ tablespoons of pure cane sugar
  • 1 cup and a splash or two of almond milk
  • 2 teaspoons of baking powder
  • 1 tablespoon of olive oil or vegetable oil
  • a drizzle of maple syrup or honey
  • vanilla extract (eh, eyeball it)

My pancakes were the best homemade pancakes Frank had ever tasted, perfectly tanned and fluffy. But then came the day I was busy in the kitchen whipping up a batch and from the living room couch, he spied the almond milk descending into the mixing bowl. Yes, my loves, the almond milk sparked a miniature war.

Him: “Why are you putting almond milk in them.”

Me: “I always use almond milk!”

Him: “You know I don’t like almond milk!”

Me: “You can’t even taste it. You’re only saying something because you saw the almond milk…you’ve never even had my pancakes without almond milk.”

Him: “But I don’t like almond milk.”

Me: “Just last week they were the best pancakes ever, that’s what you tell everyone.”

Him: “I still don’t want almond milk in my pancakes. Can you make mine without it.”

I huffed with all of the I am not going to let this go that I could muster in my voice, “So now I have to make two batches of pancakes…”

The Great Compromise

Needless to say, there is no place in love for war—especially not over almond milk pancakes. I also do not believe in making food without love in your heart. That leaves room for the consumption of bad energy. At the end of the day, it is true, Frank does not like almond milk. It is just as true that I use almond milk because I rarely drink dairy milk. When I can I cook kosher I do. It is also true that making two separate batches of pancake batter was not going to kill me nor was it truly going to require an extraneous amount of energy. Not to mention, now I can add cinnamon, pumpkin spice, blueberries and or whatever else Frankie does not like to my batch.

Perfect relationships of any sort come with many compromises —and require equal give and take. One of the biggest compromises is letting go of your ego for the good of each other. Love has to be the only pendulum that swings between your hearts. I could never expect to live a happy life as a happy consort if Frank cannot expect me to meet a simple request of slightly tweaking a recipe in his favor that I Initially crafted in my own favor never considering his cares or preferences. Love is equitable.

Instructions for perfectly tanned pancakes:

1. Heat nonstick pan on medium heat.
2. Fry pancakes in a nonstick pan with no oil or butter, flip when upside bubbling begins to slow.

P.S. Photos Coming Soon: 

I never think to take pictures of my pancakes before we consume them, so I will have to make a batch and update you all with the recipe and a nice visual in the very near future!

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