Creating Your Own Setback 101

#Inspired | Create your own setbacks 101

So, It was my fault, I conjured the storm…

I’ve finally reached a point in my life where I’m content with all of my fxck ups and come ups…phew *wipes sweat from forehead*…it’s been a long time coming know this. My biggest challenge to date: accepting fate—accepting all that I have manifested, even if that looks like “zero” aka “nothing” from my earthly perspective.

See, I realize now that wherever I am in life at the present moment is due to my very own actions—nothing more or less. I cannot be mad or frustrated with all that Universe, Source or Provider has bestowed upon me, even if it is unfavorable because I asked for it—somehow, someway, in some shape, form or fashion I requested what I received. Yes, I know this is a hard pill to swallow and often a harsh reality to accept, but just because I dislike or disagree with hail storms does not make them any less real, eh.

Our interpretations of “setbacks” are most often the results of our very own inability to come to terms with the “I ain’t quite there yet’s” and the “I fxcked up’s” of life. Yea, I said it.

“Good grief Charlie Brown”…

I remember graduating college with this overwhelming cloud of misery hovering over my head…it was a very dark cloud—student loan “debt”, credit card “debt” and no concrete vision of what I planned to do with my super expensive college education. Can your spell D-E-P-R-E-S-S-I-O-N…

I felt as if I had hit rock bottom in my life; and yet, life for me was just beginning…it was as if the Universe had personally declared me a readymade failure. The reality is I was merely starting to see the results of all the decisions I had and had not made from, oh, we shall say 2005 to 2012 coming out of darkness into the, well, not so marvelous, but oh so marvelous light…*places gun to foot*

Should’ve, Would’ve, Could’ves on Repeat

“Apply! Apply! Apply! for scholarships…” I remember hearing my guidance counselor say to me something like a million times from 9th grade through 12th. “Write! and apply for grants!” all of my English teachers wailed. “Join this club—apply for this contest,” insisted my science teachers and poetry mentors. “Learn to be conservative with your money!” pressed my parents...but I did none of this. And still, despite my lack of prepping, just as I had intended from day one of high school I chose a university that would take me as far as mis padres would allow me to venture away from the cow-roaming foothills of Sappony country.

For college, I was not prepared.

See, I was a first generation college student—which pretty much translates to “uh, I don’t know shat’ta about the higher academic process, except for all that mumbo-jumbo as seen on television.” And needless to say, I came up in the United States public school system which is—eh, well not the most encouraging or beneficial to Native American education…off or on our reservations. So yeah, I was a fish out of water, and all I possessed was my own brain and mind to facilitate the process of seeing myself through to graduation. And so let us toast to fate, because I tumbled, fell and crash-landed on the graduation stage, with an unnecessarily expensive degree in English, concentration—Literature …and of course, no real cares of being a school teacher or a writer… trainwrecks anyone? they’re all free—oh yeah and the three years worth of “frivolous, turn’up on the weekends, did not listen to MaaMa” credit card debt—NOT FREE PEOPLE—NOT!

Late Departures, Early Arrivals

So now, back to those setups…those self-deceptively disguised setbacks. Because I failed to think or act for five years down the road in all of the latter situations, and failed to plan in accord—I ultimately concocted my very own plan to fail—I set myself up for a crash and burn…one I would not see the spoiled fruits of until 7 years after I first began to seed and water them—chaos is always organized…when, where, why and how are simply mutable factors.

Nowadays,  I look back and I see only setups. I know I chose to make my bed hard when it came to my undergraduate studies. Thus, as Maa would say I had to lay in it! …but I rise from my slumbers realizing all that I learned and experienced allows me to know and be 100 times more diligent in my life planning process now. Plus, my setups can now serve as warning signs and roadmaps for others traveling along similar paths as I. For instance, seeing, experiencing and actively doing all that I did wrong and right gave me the push to help others who want to earn a higher education, but don’t know shat’ta about the higher academic process. When potential university goers consult me for college do’s and don’ts I can provide them with first-hand experience and the proof-positives and/or negatives. So, I shall conclude with, love your experiences—all of them, look for the setups in all that comes your way, and dismiss all that is unfavorable as good in its own right for your betterment in due time.

Remember no setbacks, setups only!

Know your today is always a reflection of your yesterday!

Until sometime soon…Maiiandestéka ♥

♥ Egypt


Teaspiration Thursday - Rose Shrouded in Thorns

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Rise like the Sun

Know today the Sun began His daily trek out of the East —from His lowest point in the sky of this year. And yet still, our Sun does not falter in His duty to give light; thus, give life. He does not curse Mother Luna, nor Mother Earth for His lowly state. Indeed the crown of a halo adorning Sun beams still and ever bright. With tomorrow, and with divine knowing He will begin his rising.

Happy Winter Solstice 2016!

Today marks the first day of our celestial new year…renew yourself in this time of rebirth🙌💕🙏

Maxing out on Holiday Cheer…

We have a break in at the workshoppe. All is not calm all is not bright!
REPEEAT! All is not calm all is not bright!
—Elf, “Bob’s sleigh” {Netflix}

Even if you don’t go tinsel and glitter crazy or turn into a psycho version of St. Nick throwing your holiday magic all about this year—you may be struggling with the holiday season’s arch nemesis, and a very unwanted visitor bearing bad tidings. . .


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She is a vision of no priority…

So I’m sitting in my vehicle outside of a busy Starbucks next to a less exciting mall—I’m people watching with my cup of Joe. During my observation of life going in, out and all about the tiny plaza my eyes focus in on a little girl and her father sitting beside the front window inside of Starbucks.

She was cute—in her a little Sunday dress, with her white tights and shoes, and a head full of blonde and bouncy curls.  I smiled as she smiled at her coloring page, sipped from her kid-size drink and then rose up on her knees and leaned across the table to show her daddy her finished masterpiece.

Soon, she retreated—back onto her hindside and twiddled her crayons for a bit as her father barely nods, never even looking up—but continuing his date with his mobile device.

And there I sat, with my own stars crushed, wondering if he went blind that very day would he fall asleep each night to come wishing for one more glimpse of his daughter in the beauty of her Sunday’s best or another scroll down his timeline. . .

Visit Queen Kelley over at Gray Suede to find out what inspired this flashback post…

♥  the only friend we need  ♥

As always, you are loved!