You are Worth Your Self-Worth - How to build confidence and self worth - Love Yourself

You are Worth Your Self-worth

We  try to force change upon ourselves and others—but change is natural—and nothing natural can be forced. 

I spent a little over a year, maybe even two, fighting myself—or something of the sort. I was in a full-on battle. Literally, I had waged an almost unforgiving, horrendously relentless war against the woman I knew I was becoming—the woman I knew deep-down all of me desired to be. In my spirit rose a resentment toward this woman I had yet to formally meet. Forcibly I was on a mission to postpone her arrival. Some days it felt as if I wanted nothing more than to halt her coming all together. Ironically, I felt that I knew nothing of her. Sadly, as much as I innately desired to see her in all of her highly anticipated grandeur I could not stand feeling her emerging. I loathed watching her from half-shut eyes displacing the me I had grown to find so many comforts within. 

Eventually, I realized there was not much I could do to make myself feel happy and fulfilled until I just allowed myself to simply be—to commit, to leap, to freefall, to find a way to catch myself in mid-air—like a cat—and to land on my feet after all of my shifting, my changing. For my sanity’s sake, I had to make way for her arrival. I had to abandon my complacency.

The Losing Game

Self-worth, esteem, and confidence have been a struggle for me since I was young. Feeling like I did not fit in with my peers left me chasing a reality in which I was either doing too much or most often, not enough. Over time, I began to realize I was not alone in trying to shuffle my many pieces into their appropriate places. Like most wandering spirits—I was never broken or truly ever out of place. My focus was off. Trying to be who I thought I wanted to be, and not who came naturally left me exhausting my good energy. The she who came naturally, I had not planned for. Thus, I resented her. She seemed like too much work—too much to cultivate. She was like a garden left untended—overgrown with weeds.

Truth is, however, trying to be who did not come naturally was even more work—and very self-sabotaging. I found myself constantly drowning in a sea self-conjured anxieties. I found myself competing with a host of uncompetitive forces. The latter left me miserable. I lost my cares for all that I was good at while wallowing in that which could never properly serve me.

Focus on You

The journey back to self-worth is different for everyone, but the common theme is forcing ourselves into spaces too small or too big for us to properly fill. My space is my space. The size, shape, and purpose of your space are the same today as they were the day you were born. Imagine spending your entire life trying to be a superstar when you were always meant to be a highly revered elementary school teacher. You might find yourself depressed, anxious and ultimately unhappy. Do what feels natural. Focus on what comes naturally to you—do that—perfect that. Focus on who comes naturally to you—be that persona—perfect that persona. With the right focus, all else will begin to flow naturally.

 

For more on my own journey back to confidence, self-esteem and self-worth head over to Geiko Skin ♥

Continue reading “You are Worth Your Self-worth”

The Fool In Me - LoveTrips ™ the BLOG - Egypt English

The Fool in Me

If my life is my message…what kind of message am I sending?

Tarot Teachings


I do love myself—enough to fear nothing. I release all judgments of myself and all others. Thus, I will and I shall live, give, and I shall build. My practice is my adventure—my life, this journey, is my practice. And although I seek the bounty and the beauty that is the rose, I shall not fear its thorns. I will regard each prick as a lesson to be learned—each scar, a badge of honor earned.

With all of my love.

Continue reading “The Fool in Me”
1994'ish - My Loc Journey - Natural hair locs dreadlocks

Country Flowers


I come from the land two turns outta gutter swamps, still got bullet holes in SUVs tho—pull up to the famly’union liable to find deer, pig, frog legs, a bite of squirrel and some gator from who tha’fxcks backyard is this, muhnegus we got these roun’here? right next to great grandmal’s good ol’ con’bread and cawlud greens.

#avegansnightmare ♥ #truestory

Wicked Ways - Egypt English - Love & Life Coach

This sh¡t ain’t kashér and you know it…

Vows are not made to be broken…

but—we are humans, fickle creatures…we break them. Some we break unintentionally, some we break to save, as if it needs saving, grace…and some we break simply to keep from having to reveal our demons to none other than ourselves. I broke a vow I made to you, because of the latter—I simply could not be transparent with you, so I hid from you…but only the part of you that reflected me…I hid from your eyes, and yet your hearts still beat in my chest.

Even in hiding, I could not escape the sound. I could not stop my feet from dancing to those beats you conjured—and though, my mind still raced as brilliantly as a million thoroughbred stallions, my spirit stalled out a time or two, and my body backfired…my bones cracked and ground bone on bone. I chipped a tooth. I stained a few. Part of me became so seemingly complete with the thoughts breathing as good mother Dickinson had, and part of me grew sick of dancing in my own eerie shadows, dropping baskets of treats from gloomy windows. Slowly,

hesitantly,

I set aside my peace pipe because I am learning time slows down much faster when it speeds up—like interdimensional travel, shifting, bending, transmuting from one black space to the next without the blinking of an eye. I am home again. Please allow me to rest my head upon your hearts once more.

Signed,

A Letter to Those Who Traveled this Wicked Path with I

Continue reading “This sh¡t ain’t kashér and you know it…”
The Changing Woman - Egypt English - Self Love

The Changing Women

I would like to believe that I am indeed the same woman who began this particular LoveTrip three years ago, but the woman I have become and she who I am ever-becoming will not allow me to be so complacent.

See, although my core has surely remained the same—all around it has metamorphosed.

Love your transformation mis andestagōnwa!

—♥Egypt

 

Continue reading “The Changing Women”

Egypt English - LoveTrips the Tribe - Loveologist Artist Poet Model - Saponi Feathers

I can show better than I can …

…tell you, teach you, guide you, move you, force you.

You remember back in the day when parents would live off of the expressions “I can show you better than I can tell you,” “experience is the best teacher” or “a hard head makes a soft butt”? Truth be told, I know many parents, and many peers who still dance to the rhythm of each. I know I sure do! I can remember Maa saying “do your chores as they are assigned so they don’t pile up.” Well, we all know how that went after postponing them to play outside with friends, watch cartoons, eat a meal or two, twiddle fingers, or do anything and everything to keep from washing those dishes, cleaning your room, sweeping the floors and taking out the trash. By the time you finally got to the dishes that extra meal or so has turned into an extra meal or two per household member, and mother, father, grandma, auntie or other like guardian is staring you down with those “you better get that sh*t done” eyes. If your mom was anything like mine or my grandmas they were steady staring at you with a switch, fly swatter, or leather belt in hand—and you—pouting and moping because your favorite show is on now, bedtime is in an hour, and you can’t get on the phone to talk to your bestie until ALL of your chores are complete. Continue reading “I can show better than I can …”

#rebelflags - Egypt English - Loveologist at LoveTrips— the BLOG

black belts and #rebelflags | Things my Didd’a Taught Me.

I stomped a child out on the blacktop back in kindergarten one time ’cause he said that his dad could beat my dad in a Karate match; turned out, his daddy and my daddy were good friends, even taught Karate in the same building for years—knew Karate was more about the ability to harness the power of your own spirit than the like of your two fists or your two feet—had nothing to do with competition because true power was derived from within—the ability to control not your opponent, but yourself—long story short, we are old friends now.

—♥E, on slaying demons Continue reading “black belts and #rebelflags | Things my Didd’a Taught Me.”

Egypt English - LoveTrips the Tribe - Loveologist Artist Poet Model - Weight loss

What’s your secret? Diet? Exercise? Lipo? …eh Baggage Claim…^_^

Every old face I encounter asks me in some form or fashion where and how I abandoned 80 pounds and slowly counting over a course of a year. I have no fancy regiment to deplore—no magic wand to wave, no distasteful diets or strenuous workout plans to hand out…my apologies, but so not sorry. No, I simply left all of my worries, stresses and extra weight at baggage claim—marked it carry at your own risk and replaced it with my light.

—♥E, floating like a feather

 

Continue reading “What’s your secret? Diet? Exercise? Lipo? …eh Baggage Claim…^_^”

Egypt English - Debt Collector - LoveTrips™

debt collector…

Within these walls only love lives here.

Yesterday I went knocking on her door. The wombman who answered, I felt Her gaze through the peephole—heard Her mind adjusting the locks. “Uh, I’m looking for the backslider…the broken onethe child with the contrite heart?” From out of the corner of my Eye, I saw many fingers falling from inside the window frame and bent blinds mending themselves…and then, I heard a plethora of well-blended voices spring from behind the gold-framed door—”I think you have the wrong house,       she doesn’t reside here anymore.”

—♥E, burying Her dead Continue reading “debt collector…”