I imagine when I first encountered God, He was white and furry— with big red ears, a green and red Christmasy sweater, and mittens on. It’s not quite the image you’d relate to God, right? Me neither.
When I was born, a lady who worked with my mom, whom I can’t remember if I’ve ever met, gave my mommy a bear for me. Beary. I don’t know when Beary and I first became best friends, but once we did it was a wrap—we were in this thing for life. From then on, Beary knew every aspect of my life—the good, the bad, the ugly, the ups, the downs, the silly, the dreams, the fairy tales. . and the list goes. I told him everything. If I packed up crackers, juice, and a Fruit Roll-up and said I was running away, Beary was coming too—and even when he wasn’t, we parted ways with tears, and he could always assume I was going to come back, arms open wide sobbing because I had nowhere else to go. And he would always assume right.
I can’t remember Beary ever looking fresh. No, for as long as I can remember, he’s always looked tattered, used, and worn out. After all, he’s only had one bath in his 24 years, and that one didn’t go too well. He came out the wash stuffing-less. Of course, I cried, and my mommy did her usual mommy duty and attempted to discard him based on the grounds that he was old and done for. My didda intervened in the midst of my hysterics, and so it was Mommy who gave him to me in my left hand and his stuffing in the right —and with a lot of tears, a needle, and thread, Beary was resurrected from the dead. Never to be washed again. Maybe.
Today, Beary still goes where I go; no matter how far the journey or how trying the test, he’s there. And though I have grown older, more detached, and less dependent, he still stares at me with these same soft, coal-black eyes. No, I don’t talk to him or confide in Him nearly as much as I used to, but somehow I know He sees what I don’t have the time or cares to mention, and He still hears all the ramblings of my mind even when I can’t seem to find the words to say anything.
Peace and Love
Namaste
❤
Egypt English
