Dear Love,

There was nothing left to feel. Still, my body went through the necessary motions and processes to release all that has been pressurizing for a countless number of nights passed. As a result—I cried, not because I wanted to or felt like I needed to, but simply because my human knew nothing else to do.

A day like today warrants many reactions from many different people. Some choose to stand still as time continues tranversing, some break beyond repair or succumb to misery of it all, and others carry on placidly as if all will sort itself out in the end. And while the latter and many other reactions may be more favorable or seemingly easier, they often leave us stranded on isolated uninhabitable islands often surrounded by sharks.

For me, today, I did not even choose to curse Allah or dare to ask why. Instead I chose to let myself cry. I chose to give myself grace and allow my burdens to leave by way of my tear ducts. I was liberated by teardrops you might say.

And although, the source of my dismay still lingered in the great balance, my soul was lighter. My mind was free— free to think, kill my ego, and shift thinking from survival and emotions to execution.

Beyond these dark days are nights bright like sunrays. Together we shall walk into them. I do not know what your tomorrow will bring nor what will be of mine, but I know whatever may come will be greater than our today.

Salaam,

<3 Egypt

If falling on hard times was a point on a map which the world forsook


Everything I have at this moment is mobile
and I want to keep it this way. cause life at this instant sucks. No like really fucking sucks.
You see my families can never bring themselves to understand the state of my mind I’m in
my friends cannot
           my peers will not
                    your gods do not
and your government—the one so diligently voted for
          year    after    year    after

could care less to; see,
I AM the result of war on my fucking kindness— a Good Samaritan with the very life ripped directly out,

              piece       by      piece
until all that is left is decomposing flesh—
being burnt alive from outside in by madness my God
refuses to let me express out loud
because they     you              cannot understand
that I have been stripped bare
all my resources
cares
hopes necessary to survive a breath
in this lopsided world. You don’t give a fuck! and laugh         at my contributions to this world

some you’ve occasionally helped create
         and though small in your regard          they were ALL I could give, most of what I once had and yet—you still could never      GIVE A FUCK!
that my love has been severed in two. Parts,
like lips, top stitched to nose, bottom to chin and now
we cannot kiss, because we have no resources
to cut our bondages,
so my love like an open womb begins to fester, fester
until maggots begin to fall through the gaps which once housed teeth—and now all that I speak
reeks of discontent, and my calm face can no longer conceal the ache of my confined mind
running rampant within itself shouting quietly
between my ears       a million angry thoughts of abandonment—and yes I’m angry
       full of discord      rudeness      

crudeness       and disrespect as you say
only after you’ve ruffled my feathers and wage attack on my nest. Yes,
my eyes blaze with fiery, mouth bellows cries of battle

       angry         alone
for I was but a fledging knocked from a tree top, by prey—wings not yet granted the strength
to fly.

—from “They’re Watching Our Faces” (Yet to be released)


© 2024 All Rights Reserved, O’Dellshae TruVarsha Wiles Robinson El Bey writing as Egypt English. Enjoyed this piece? Check out my latest book: “My Mother Said Write” (2023).

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